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A Shattering Panic



I saw the last light in my eyes go

out as tears blurred

my vision and my mind went

dark


I heard what I knew to be the shattering

of glass, as the now dark

and lifeless chandelier fell

from the ceiling of my mind


My soul used to dance

here, in the Great Hall, back

when every candle on the chandelier was lit


I used to come here to dance

with my daydreams, to visit

with my fond memories, to be

inspired by the prismatic colors

that hung in the air from the starry light hanging

from the center of the room


Over time, a dark wind entered,

and like the low hum of a whisper, it went

unnoticed, for I was too busy dancing

while it slowly blew out a candle

here and there, until darkness set in


My daydreams became

nightmares, my fond memories hidden

from my sight, and the colors blew

away with the wind until there was

just one candle left


I was too scared to dance

in the darkness, so I sat

in a corner and cried silently, a panic building

up as I waited for the day when the last

light would go out


I knew it would go

out


When it finally happened,

it was a deafening chaos like no other--for the dark

wind's final gust had ripped

the chandelier from the ceiling, crashing

into the darkness and tearing

my soul apart into millions of tiny glass shards, cutting

me from the inside until I went

numb


I couldn't breathe--shards of glass stabbed

my sides and lodged themselves in

between my ribs with each desperate breath and

once steady inhalation became

hyperventilation as my body shook


Stars of glass clouded

my vision as my eyes rolled

back into my head like a game of glass marbles


I broke


I

am

broken


And now I'm left picking

up the pieces in the dark, and

it's tricky and exhausting and painful, as

you have to watch

your step and how you place

the pieces in your hands, or you will surely cut

yourself


There are so many

pieces, and I can't see

the design I'm building

in the dark, nor do

all the little pieces fit

together like they used to


So I've decided to create

a new design--I can't put

it down on paper, but when I close

my eyes I see it, newly lit

with ethereal light from the Heavens above, a glass

galaxy twinkling, flooding

my mind with light


And hope that I will dance

in the Great Hall again






1件のコメント


Andrea Peterson
Andrea Peterson
2020年11月02日

So well put!

いいね!
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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

Through mental and spiritual lows this year, I've been on a journey to pursue prayer and peace in my daily life.  That's what this blog is all about.

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