What I Learned This Week From A Simple Cup of Coffee
Have you ever known of someone in your life--maybe an acquaintance or friend-of-a-friend--that you thought would be a good person to get a cup of coffee with?
Well this week I challenged myself to finally ask someone I knew if they would join me for coffee, + I'm so glad I did.
Not only was the experience refreshing--with the literary conversation, the strong Americano, + the charming new coffee shop in the next town over--but the fact that I proved to myself that I could do it was as well.
I haven't hung out with friends since the beginning of Christmas break, when I unfortunately had a panic attack in front of them for the second time.
After that I decided to quit therapy with my current therapist + take a break from it. He's a lovely person but I discovered through discussing my therapy experience (with my soon-to-be therapist friend) that his style + expertise simply didn't meet my needs.
Naturally, after that panic attack + disappointment from my attempt at therapy, I was not feeling the most confident in my attempts at healing, or in life in general.
But then my mom kept bringing up this person who lives nearby + how she thinks we could be friends, + suddenly I realized to myself that I've been here in the states now for over 8 months so I can no longer use the excuse that I live in the Philippines as a reason not to ask (actually, it was the anxiety talking).
So, I made a quick decision to start up a conversation + ask.
Afterwards, I was wracked with anxiety as I played out our possible coffee conversations in my head over + over + over. It felt like we had already been having coffee for a week before we had even arrived at the coffee shop in person.
I planned out what I would say, what questions I could ask, + had the dreaded thought of, "What if I have a panic attack in front of this person + they have no idea what's going on?!"
I told my sister + my mom what my mind was doing + they acted like this was not something people normally do (not everyone obsesses about future possible scenarios + conversations + replays them in their head throughout their day??).
So I did the only thing I could do--bring it to the Lord in prayer.
I specifically prayed over this coffee date + that God would bless our conversation.
I believe He did, for I left there feeling better than when I came, we agreed we should do it again, + I was actually proud of myself.
I think I actually may have felt like myself.
Afterwards, I was kicking myself for not asking to get coffee months earlier. I mean, I've been living here for over half a year! But then I realized that I really was in no mental state to be asking people to coffee at that time.
Which leads me to the conclusion that God's timing really is perfect. And that even though the travel ban to the Philippines will finally be lifted on Monday (His perfect timing), I will still have to wait for my expired visa paperwork (again, His perfect timing).
Yes, His timing is perfect.
I will "rest in the Lord & wait patiently for Him," as my verse for the year reminds me daily (Psalm 37:7).
Funny how even a simple cup of coffee brought me back to this.
Here's to more cups of coffee + more bravery for us all to get to know the interesting people God has placed in our lives.